You can’t even imagine how happy I am (and how relaxed) sitting in my own garden, on my own bench, under the tree on which I was climbing while being a small one. I realised how much I need my own space after I spent almost three months in someone’s house, changing my bed every few weeks (when someone was going on holiday I had the privilege to use his room instead of sleeping in a common living room, lucky me). I find out that having (even the smallest amount) of your own floor, on which you’re able to do whatever you want, is extremely important for your mental and physical health. So now, when I am back and able to sleep in my own bed, close the door to my own room, I am happy again.
Today I wanted to write about my experience and what I’ve earned about myself, if it goes about multi-culture. I always thought that I am extremely opened person, tolerating every race, sex, origin. When someone was offending other nations, immigrants, I was always fighting for their rights and good name. And then my work came. I started to work in England, London, were are millions of different people from all around the world. And I was fascinated. Happy to find more about their culture, happy that I am not the only one not from this country, happy that no-one is judging each other. I was mistaken. In my work (and I worked at the airport as a hostess in a lounge, serving tea, coffee, collecting plates, cleaning tables and in general serving people and making their wishes come true) I had a pleasure to feel on my skin the real mute-culture. My colleagues were from India, Philippines, Portugal, Arabia, Poland, England, Bosnia and Hercegovina. Customers were also from all over around the world: America, Australia, China, France, Spain, Canada.
Everyday I was surrounded by people from different edge of the world. I was able to see how they behave and treat me and each other. Sometimes I couldn’t understand them, sometimes I was angry how messy they are (after few weeks someone explained me that in some cultures if you’re doing bigger mess and eat louder than others, slurping for example, that means that it is delicious and they're happy) and sometimes I was swearing in my minds that some people can’t even say „thank you” to you for your hard work. I was seriously shocked how much effort I had to make to stand such people. Even though I knew that this is just culture difference, I couldn't stand how different they are from me! It was really a great test for myself and my tolerance. I still have this feeling that if I stayed there for a few more months I would became racists. I know, that sounds not so great. But that only made me realised how much we don't know about other cultures, and how much we should appreciate that we’re different and not the same.
I hope that I will learn more every day, and not close myself just around European people.
P.S Do you also sometimes feel like you’re on the edge of your tolerance?
I am so sorry that I was gone for almost three months. So much happened, so much pain, happiness. I’ve missed writing and sharing with you some of my feelings. I’ve missed you so much that I am sitting right now almost crying from happiness that I am finally writing! Finally typing words, f i n a l l y.
Without further do, here is what had happened in short. In June I had exams, final exams of my first year. I passed everything! It was extremely hard for me, tears were almost everyday. I was competing with myself and my mum (she was studying exactly the same faculty as me many years ago and I wanted to be as good as she was). But I did it. I manage to end one year, I am just about to begin the next year. Ready and excited for some new obstacles.
Day after my last exam (when I still had no idea either I passed or not, and if I should take some books with me to review) I flew to England to London to start a new chapter in my life called: work. I was a hostess in the lounge at the airport. I worked hard to earn some money. I felt lonely and tired (after entire year of studying). I was lucky enough to live with my cousin and her lovely husband so on some weekends we were traveling and visiting some new places. This way I saw more of the England that I’ve ever had before.
At the beginning of September my mum flew to me and we both went on some small holiday to rest and relax. We decided (well, I decided and she agreed) to drive down from London and see some seashore nature. We saw my deeply in heart loved village West Lulworth where you can make few steps to Durdle Door and be amazed. We had fantastic time after this long not-see-time.
And today is my first proper day when I am back. Back and ready. So stay in! And wait for my next post when I’am gonna write about what I’ve learned for the past three months (and I’ve learned a lot, about myself, multiculture, racism, friendship, bureaucracy, real life, emotions and so much more!)
Not so long ago my close friend asked me a strange question. Strange because I wasn’t expecting it. A week before she broke up with her boyfriend, and she asked if she would have some sex now with other would that mean that she is a whore? Because she had an accidental sex with someone she didn’t plan to be with and did it after the break up? She was seriously afraid that this situation would mean that she has no self-respect.
Men can have an adventitious sex just for pleasure. They can fly from one flower to the other and the only thing we will say about them is that they are choosy, immature or simply can’t decide what they want in their life. But I have never heard that someone would say that they are a males whores. That because they had so many girls they have no self-respect. Actually, I can hear something quite opposite. The more girl man has, the more he knows and the better he can choose his future partner (because he has comparison). Boys are practically encouraged, by very often fathers, sometimes mothers that can’t stand the idea of their son who stabilize his life with one partner and will move out soon, friends and medias, to have more than one partner. And that is kind of right. It is nice to have some comparison. But have You ever heard something like this concerning girls? Never.
It is well known that untouched girl, the best virgin, with no previous partners is the most worth. And I don’t think just about the Arabic countries where for a virgin you can still get a camel, and if she is not pure she is not worth anything. Even nowadays, in Europe, men love to hear that they were first in their sexual life. It is still almost unimaginable that the girl can have a sex just for her physical pleasure. That she can do this to relax herself, to fulfill her animal nature. Sex and man are easily connected with words like: free, adventures, no promises, nature, pleasure, fun, one night. But if You think about girl and sex the only words I can hear from others are: home, family, husband, safety. Where is the word pleasure? Why this can’t be on the first place for both sexes? Why not everyone can release his nature?
Since the beginning of human life sex was just for men. It is well known that even in Ancient time, when the greatest philosophers just came out with the biggest thoughts, were mathematics created basic and yet the most genius theories that the future will thank them for, when the amazing dramas where written, the wives who liked sex were disdained and men sought sexual pleasure of marriage with young boys, slaves, and male prostitutes. The only exception was Sparta where women sexuality wasn’t ridiculed, but respected. That’s why sometimes Spartans’ life are called as austere, prudish and full of pornography, but at least they immortalizes married couples as partners.
Later in the Middle Ages, when You might think the people are more aware of themselves, because they already have some history, some great past, it is even worse. The sex was completely forbidden on Sunday, Wednesday, Friday or Saturday. It wasn’t allowed to have sex in daylight and when You were naked. When the woman was pregnant, had menstruation as well- forbidden. When it was Lent, Whitsun week, Easter, any other feast days and fast days. But yet! As long everything what I wrote above was forbidden by church, one thing was completely ignored by them. The prostitution. There is nothing more famous in the middle ages than the history of prostitution. Of course, who could use one? Men. And very often the regular customers were from the wealthier class not a casual bread-eater and definitely not a woman.
Coming closer to the modern ages the hope started arising. The industrial revolution in 1800s pushed people together and sex became more liberal. In 1960s when the birth control pill was on the market, letting women to at least think about sex without protection and unwanted children.
Nowadays, when the world should be equal and everyone should have same pleasure from this act we still crawl on all fours in this topic. Hopefully, this unequal treating will change in a future. I am dreaming about liberated women that are not afraid to reach for their own pleasure and partners that will support them in their will.
I dedicate this post to my friend so she can remember I will love her no matter with who she will sleep and for what reasons.
Some sources I used to write this post that You may like.