Not so long ago my close friend asked me a strange question. Strange because I wasn’t expecting it. A week before she broke up with her boyfriend, and she asked if she would have some sex now with other would that mean that she is a whore? Because she had an accidental sex with someone she didn’t plan to be with and did it after the break up? She was seriously afraid that this situation would mean that she has no self-respect.
Men can have an adventitious sex just for pleasure. They can fly from one flower to the other and the only thing we will say about them is that they are choosy, immature or simply can’t decide what they want in their life. But I have never heard that someone would say that they are a males whores. That because they had so many girls they have no self-respect. Actually, I can hear something quite opposite. The more girl man has, the more he knows and the better he can choose his future partner (because he has comparison). Boys are practically encouraged, by very often fathers, sometimes mothers that can’t stand the idea of their son who stabilize his life with one partner and will move out soon, friends and medias, to have more than one partner. And that is kind of right. It is nice to have some comparison. But have You ever heard something like this concerning girls? Never.
It is well known that untouched girl, the best virgin, with no previous partners is the most worth. And I don’t think just about the Arabic countries where for a virgin you can still get a camel, and if she is not pure she is not worth anything. Even nowadays, in Europe, men love to hear that they were first in their sexual life. It is still almost unimaginable that the girl can have a sex just for her physical pleasure. That she can do this to relax herself, to fulfill her animal nature. Sex and man are easily connected with words like: free, adventures, no promises, nature, pleasure, fun, one night. But if You think about girl and sex the only words I can hear from others are: home, family, husband, safety. Where is the word pleasure? Why this can’t be on the first place for both sexes? Why not everyone can release his nature?
Since the beginning of human life sex was just for men. It is well known that even in Ancient time, when the greatest philosophers just came out with the biggest thoughts, were mathematics created basic and yet the most genius theories that the future will thank them for, when the amazing dramas where written, the wives who liked sex were disdained and men sought sexual pleasure of marriage with young boys, slaves, and male prostitutes. The only exception was Sparta where women sexuality wasn’t ridiculed, but respected. That’s why sometimes Spartans’ life are called as austere, prudish and full of pornography, but at least they immortalizes married couples as partners.
Later in the Middle Ages, when You might think the people are more aware of themselves, because they already have some history, some great past, it is even worse. The sex was completely forbidden on Sunday, Wednesday, Friday or Saturday. It wasn’t allowed to have sex in daylight and when You were naked. When the woman was pregnant, had menstruation as well- forbidden. When it was Lent, Whitsun week, Easter, any other feast days and fast days. But yet! As long everything what I wrote above was forbidden by church, one thing was completely ignored by them. The prostitution. There is nothing more famous in the middle ages than the history of prostitution. Of course, who could use one? Men. And very often the regular customers were from the wealthier class not a casual bread-eater and definitely not a woman.
Coming closer to the modern ages the hope started arising. The industrial revolution in 1800s pushed people together and sex became more liberal. In 1960s when the birth control pill was on the market, letting women to at least think about sex without protection and unwanted children.
Nowadays, when the world should be equal and everyone should have same pleasure from this act we still crawl on all fours in this topic. Hopefully, this unequal treating will change in a future. I am dreaming about liberated women that are not afraid to reach for their own pleasure and partners that will support them in their will.
I dedicate this post to my friend so she can remember I will love her no matter with who she will sleep and for what reasons.
Some sources I used to write this post that You may like.
On the very beginning I must admit that this is not my everyday use bag. Almost every day I am on university from about 8 am to 5 pm. It is a long time so besides many notebooks, books, I also bring with me tones of food in plastics containers and simply I wouldn’t be able to fit everything into this bag pack.
This gorgeous bag pack is my go to when I want to go for a shopping, day trip on a bike, travel around the city or for a days when I can go on university just for few hours.
So, the bag pack is from limited edition from Zara. I must admit that I was afraid of ordering it online, because I thought it is too small for me. Needlessly I worried. The size (and quality!) is perfect and I can fit in everything what I need.
I never really was able to joke from myself. I am not saying that I can bear right now every joke about me or I can easily joke from myself, but I am much better in this than in the past. I remember first more serious ‘joke’ addressed to me. I was probably something like 14-15, in the class on the lesson, nicely sitting in the first desk with my ‘best friend forever’ (at least that’s what I thought up then) and making notes. Someone at the back said something stupid and pointless and the teacher thought it was me. She looked at me and said that ‘I was stupid as a typical blond’. Well, cruel joke. Can You imagine my reaction? I was just getting my right shapes. My boobs finally started to look like something rounded, not two small triangles. My hips were wide as never. I put on some weight. My period was almost regular and not painful, but I had acne problem. I also started noticing boys as a potential boyfriends to not just keep hands together, but maybe something more serious. So, basically, a lot was going on, and then she said something like this. That I was stupid like a typical blond. Since I was little I could hear boys joking about it. Of course I started crying. After lesson the teacher stopped me and kind of apologize. I said kind of because she didn’t say: I am sorry. She said that it was just a joke and she didn’t meant it. Bull shit. She exactly meant what she said.
Right now I would react differently. I would say something like: You should treasure our stupidity because real blond is rare nowadays, or something like this. Or at least I wouldn’t say anything and just walk away. But I learned it with time to have some distance to myself. My hair color does not define me. It’s just color that I didn’t chose. After that situation I dyed my hair first to black, then to brown. Right now I am really proud of my hair color. In my high school the lady that worked in canteen was calling me a gold hair girl. Or a girl with the hair as a gold wheat. And I really liked it. But if You’re blond and someone joked about your hair color, You can easily imagine what I’ve been through. It was really hard time.
Lately I noticed that finally I learned some distance to myself. Not so long ago, on English lesson we had to do some exercise. Theoretically it was easy, there were few words to match with paragraphs. But I couldn’t do this. I was sitting with my friend (blond as well) and we were trying to do this together. Nothing. After few minutes of not understanding and not being able to do this we looked to our friends book but they also didn’t understand the task. And yes, they were also blond. After checking this exercise with entire group we found out that we completely didn’t ignite. We end this lesson laughing like crazy from how stupid it is to seat four blond girls together and give them something easy to do. It is still a joke between us. I am so happy that I have right now such amazing friends that have distance to themselves and can joke easily!
We have only one life and there is no point on feeling sorry for yourself because someone joked from us. If he did it because he was mean and wanted to hurt us than this person is just not worth even the minute of our attention, furthermore his words are irrelevant. Sometimes peoples jokes are accurate and true (sometimes sadly true), but treat this as advice and see if You can change something about this. What is the most important for me is to find the lightness of accepting our faults and mistakes that can make laugh other people and to laugh together with them.
A delight in being alive,
Carefree enjoyment of living.
Birds sing and sun shines.
Croissants and fresh ground coffee.
But I am lying in bed, freezing,
without coffee or bread.
From my window no shines
I am in my big oversized pyjama,
with cup of mint tea for soothing my stomach
after yesterday’s club madness.
Something in my head is trembling,
not some idea or thoughts
but simple head ache
caused by too many percents.
Time is calling and cold shower
is a need.
I open the haversack and find there
a bread roll.
Not a fresh croissant served by
some handsome French.
I close my eyes for a second.
I am tired and calm.
Calm and happy.
Happy and satisfied.
It is my joie de vivre.
I love to change small pieces in my room. To redecorate it from time to time. But small pieces, like photo frames, nice boxes, plates costs the most. So I decided to try one of the most famous diy on the internet. Clay plates. You can buy it everywhere, but the costs are crazy! For the cost of them I can buy products to made them myself, invite my friend for coffee and cake, buy some fancy notebook and still have money for return ticket from shopping center.
I decided to use a self drying clay (cause I saw some youtubers who burned clay in the oven, this way I thought it will be safer) and formed it into different size rounded plates. One I wanted to be kinked on the side so it will be perfect for keeping in some small earrings and they won’t fall out. The other two are simple and smooth. With one I decided to experiment and bent it a little bit (I am talking about light mint color plate).