Brave or not?

Last summer I spent two wonderful weeks in beautiful Croatia. Lucky me, heh. But besides laying, sunbathing, swimming and basically not doing anything that require some effort and power, I was thinking. How time passes and sometimes how it repeats itself. I already was in Croatia. When I was much younger, and it seems to me, much braver. 

Many years ago while we were about to just come back home from holidays we found simple house near the sea for rent. And this way we decided to prolong our holidays in Croatia for another week. It was among nowhere. So we felt there like in little haven. Every day two boys (probably owners sons) were coming and jumping from a little cliff. Wow, how cool was that for ten years old me. So I had to try it as well. Firstly my younger brother jumped. I remember him standing and being just about to jump and then going away from cliff. It took few tries for him to jump. But it took so many more tries for me! I was persuading myself that its safe. If they can do this, I can do this as well. I was older than my brother so I should be more brave. I wasn't. It took me entire week to finally tightened myself and do this. It was so cool as I thought. Sadly I did this the day before leaving, so I didn't have many time to enjoy it.

This year we decided to stay on the island, Krk. High mountains were each way you would look around. Sea was so clean and bright as never. It was in beautiful turquoise colour. You were able to see everything under water. Children laugh was loud and cheerful. You could smell their happiness in this hot air. 

Not so far away from the shore was a platform. Simple concrete platform. With dozen of boys on it jumping to the water. What was different this time that I couldn't  jump? Am I to old? And it's not appropriate for my age to jump. I still don't know. Even though I wanted to jump, I couldn't. I was afraid. Of high, of water. I am really good swimmer. I swim since I was seven or maybe even younger. But I was afraid to jump and drown. 

It took me so many tries that after a week I gave up. I don't regret it. I wasn't feeling ok with it. And so it is my thought, if we don't feel with something, we shouldn't do it. I know that we should try to step out of our comfort zone and try out different things, but if we don't feel something we shouldn't push ourselves there. I would like to be super brave, but if it's not in me I don't want to change myself. Being a coward is sometimes as nice as being a super hero. 

Hope you have guys have some nice time! 
Much love, 

(photos are not from Croatia, but from Brighton because my memory card decided to get lost.)


3 komentarze

  1. The same thing happens to me! Some of the stuff I wouldn't think twice about when I was little scare me to death now! I think it has to do with growing up like you said! When people are younger they think they are invincible sometimes, and sometimes our parents shade us/ we ignore some of the various dangers and bad things that happen in the world. So when we're younger we don't even think of it! I also feel like when I was little I would bounce back from injuries so much easier but now it affects me so much more! Nothing wrong with gaining a little fear though! It's apart of survival, maturity, learning and growing! Completely normal!


  2. I really love this and something that is similar to a situation in my life right now, I have a job offer but for casual hours, I'm a very structured person and like to have a routine other wise I feel rather stressed, I was getting a lot of anxiety about it the other day and I'm rather unsure if it's right for me, I'm going to give it a try because I feel it's important but it's also important to acknowledge sometimes certain things in life don't sit right with you and that's perfectly ok, it's an the act of trying!